BREAK THE [WOUNDS + UNAWARENESS] CYCLE!

Hi - Average people in our society (like YOU?) have 2 to 6 significant psychological "wounds" - a reactive personality, excessive shame, guilts, fears, distrusts, reality distortions, and possibly trouble bonding. Once aware of these wounds and their toxic effects, you can intentionally reduce them over time.

To learn if you have significant wounds, see this. For an overview of how to reduce your wounds, see this.
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Peter ("Pete") Gerlach, MSW - founder, Break the Cycle! Program
Author - "Who's *Really* Running Your Life? and "Stepfamily Courtship" (Xlibris.com)
Member NSRC Stepfamily Expert Council

So we're back! This old dog has been busy learning a lot of new tricks, thanks to you Pete. So far it looks like I started latest, but it seems that the crash course has been working well for me. The atmosphere in our house has altered radically. It seems to be true that when one partner really digs in, there is a change in both persons...morphic field theory. I am astonished, truly. Tomorrow is my first session with a counselor. I realized that I have had a great deal of trauma throughout this life and that I am due for some serious "rewiring." Thanks again for for the "road-map"!

I was having trouble with the style of the confirmation code part of re-registering. I didn't realize that it required us to SOLVE THE EQUATION, and that the answer was the confirmation code. Pete thought I might be having trouble with an overactive inner critic that remarked to him that I noticed that I was challenged accessing my left frontal lobe. Well, it is true that I am one of those persons who have been extremely challenged at times, when stressed, to be able to use my left/rational brain, prone to "fog" and blankness and numbing. He could well be right. I notice that the critic was such a natural character in my family! There was one or more of them in each one of us. The critic style comes so naturally, that it is not always easy to recognize.

Hello Pete, I'm Norm from Alabama. I've been reviewing your site for the last couple of days. I can see myself all over your site, "Break the Cycle". This site has clearly defined many things I have felt for a long time but could not express with words. I believe I've "hit the wall" in my personal and professional life. I have this stuffed feeling inside that wants to bubble up. I suffer from a shameful addiction. I experienced a violent, functional alcoholic father and co-dependent mother. I see that I was a low nurtured GWC. I've struggled with my sense of self for my entire life. i believe I had levels of depression starting from childhood. I've taken nearly every anti-depressant only to feel numbed by the meds and incessant worrying. I feel like I lost my true self long long ago as a young child. Sometimes I simply don't want to live anymore. I long to find this true self you write about. I want to live an authentic life but I don't know how to get there or what that actually is. But from what I've read your site offers a organized way of getting started. I believe I recently experienced a second order change. I don't want to become unaware or lost in denial again. I plan to spend a week at http://www.onsiteworkshops.com/ This time I really want to change.

Hi Norm - thanks for the post, and welcome to the BTC site and these Forums. From your post, you amd I have a lot in common. I can tell you from experience if you have hit bottom and are patient, GWC wound-recovery really works! If you haven't read much about growing up in an addicted family, I recommend starting with "Bradshaw on: the Family", by John Bradshaw. It's a classic about Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoAs). There ar now dozens of similar books because ACoA-ness (that is, GWC wounds) is so prevalent.

Consider using Lesson 1 as a recovery framework. If you have questions along the way, I hope you'll share them with us here. Other visitors will benefit. Very best wishes to you, Norm - you haver a LOT of company! - Pete