Get the most from these forums!
Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 3:59 pmWelcome to these discussion groups! To get the most from these Forums, please honor these values:
+ Be clear on what you need from others before you post a message: an opinion, information, validation, suggestions, to express an idea, help others, or ... (what?)
+ Respect the privacy and confidentiality of what you read there, as you would wish others to respect yours.
+ Use appropriate language and good taste in your messages. Offensive posts will be removed.
+ Don't use a forum as a gripe or blame festival. Clarifying, problem-solving and brainstorming help everyone! Note your option to say what's good about your family and relationships too!
+ If you need to vent (be empathically understood) vs. problem-solve, say so. That lets others know what kind of response you seek.
+ Beware of offering "help" to those who don't ask for it. That implies "I know better than you how to solve your problem." Sometimes that's true, but wounded, unaware people can feel insulted by your trying to "fix" them without invitation.
+ If you want help on a problem, try the dig-down technique first. That will raise your odds for learning what you really need, and getting helpful responses.
+ Be brief. If you want to go into more detail with someone, ask if s/he will exchange e-mail, and swap addresses with them.
+ Advertizing and porn will be removed and forum membership will be revoked immediately.
Get to know the FAQ information (top of each page) - very helpful!
Most people have significant personal and relationship problems. You're not alone!
Note - I am an experienced stepfather and stepson, and a veteran (28 year) stepfamily-systems therapist. My posts will often refer you to resources in the nonprofit Break the Cycle! educational Website associated with these forums. The site is undergoing a major structural revision (6/09), so please be patient
I welcome your constructive feedback on these Forums and the Website. Thanks for visiting!
________________
+ Be clear on what you need from others before you post a message: an opinion, information, validation, suggestions, to express an idea, help others, or ... (what?)
+ Respect the privacy and confidentiality of what you read there, as you would wish others to respect yours.
+ Use appropriate language and good taste in your messages. Offensive posts will be removed.
+ Don't use a forum as a gripe or blame festival. Clarifying, problem-solving and brainstorming help everyone! Note your option to say what's good about your family and relationships too!
+ If you need to vent (be empathically understood) vs. problem-solve, say so. That lets others know what kind of response you seek.
+ Beware of offering "help" to those who don't ask for it. That implies "I know better than you how to solve your problem." Sometimes that's true, but wounded, unaware people can feel insulted by your trying to "fix" them without invitation.
+ If you want help on a problem, try the dig-down technique first. That will raise your odds for learning what you really need, and getting helpful responses.
+ Be brief. If you want to go into more detail with someone, ask if s/he will exchange e-mail, and swap addresses with them.
+ Advertizing and porn will be removed and forum membership will be revoked immediately.
Get to know the FAQ information (top of each page) - very helpful!
Most people have significant personal and relationship problems. You're not alone!
Note - I am an experienced stepfather and stepson, and a veteran (28 year) stepfamily-systems therapist. My posts will often refer you to resources in the nonprofit Break the Cycle! educational Website associated with these forums. The site is undergoing a major structural revision (6/09), so please be patient
I welcome your constructive feedback on these Forums and the Website. Thanks for visiting!
________________