Hi - A major difference between intact biofamilies, divorcing families, and stepfamilies is the latter two include living or dead ex mates. That can cause webs of relationship stressors among kids and adults. Most adults don't know how to avoid or reduce them effectively, so they complain about "ex mate problems" Four concurrent core sources of most "ex-mate conflicts" are psychological wounds + ineffective communications + unfinished grieving + stepfamily ignorance.
Each of these can be intentionally reduced over time, once family adults (a) accept their stepfamily identity, (b) agree on who belongs to their stepfamily, and (c) are aware of and admit (vs. deny) these four factors. If you have an "ex mate problem," be clear on what you need from this Forum - to vent, validate, get information or support, and/or problem-solve. You have a LOT of company!
