BREAK THE [WOUNDS + UNAWARENESS] CYCLE!

Welcome! - I hope you find this a useful place to meet other people interested in guarding themselves and their descendents from inheriting toxic psychological wounds. For perspective, see this introduction

Thank you for this site, Peter. I feel like I found buried treasure! My nursing professor has your Break the Cycle! website as part of our assignment tonight and I ended up spending hours reading it. Thank you so much! This really came at a time when I needed the advice...

Peter,
This site is a gold mine! I have finally found something online that explains simply the psychology behind so many types of behavior--for myself and others in my life.

I can see why this site would be part of an assignment--it's perfect!

Hi - I'm delighted you're finding the site useful. Please use these Forums to post comments, AHA's!, and questions - Pete

Thanks for your support. Your sfhelp site was of inestimable value to me, and I did find a therapist locally who is extraordinarily helpful and appropriate. It has become crystal clear to me that my own issues are those of a true co-dependant. Originally I was seeking help for how to deal with a husband who had an addiction. I now understand more ab ut the wounds we have endured, separately and individually, and how those woundings have impacted our self and world views.
There exists so much fear-based and self-protective behavior on both our parts, I was amazed to discover that we both became relationship-sex addicts at early ages. How appropriate that we should attach to each other!I am eager to understand the lies we have had to tell ourselves in order to feel OK, which process began early in this life, I know.
And I am also eager to learn how to move beyond the lies that were necessary to self medicate the pain that at the time seemed so intolerable.
At this point I am prepared to suffer pain in the present to heal pain of the past as well. I know you haven't heard from me in a while, but a lot of work has been being done.
Thank you so much. More later.
Gratefully, T.

Hey Tunes - good to hear of/from you! Your post suggests you really ARE on the recovery path, and are motivated to do what that takes to reduce old wounds and become your true Self. You're becoming an inspiring example for many other journeyers - there are millions of us! Let me know if I can assist aling the way - and please keep us posted on your progress - Respectfully, Pete PS - if you haven't recently, review this: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/wounds/codep.htm

I am a GWC. To understand to what depths I am a GWC is deeply disturbing. To realize my social, relationship, and emotional immaturity is gut wrenching. If I were to see the whole reality of my life I think that my mind would collapse. Must I loose everything to "hit-bottom" The work needed to become a holistic, integrated Adult "S"elf seems overwhelming. I'm 49 and 50 is 3 months away and I feel like I have floated much of my life. I've never felt fully engaged to my life. I've wallowed in my woundedness for so long and have reached a point in life where I don't enjoy living. I'm simply tired of struggling and fighting with myself in this life. I know I should be grateful for what I have and where I am. I can write what I'm grateful for but I don't feel it. Why? I hear the words that "I'm more than my woundedness" but I can't believe that yet. I hear the words "I'm not my addiction" but I still feel the urge.
I have seen nearly 15, as best I can remember, therapist in my adult life. I've read many self help books seeking to fix what was wrong with me. It is hard to fix damaged goods. Sometime in my youth I equated nurturance with sex. In my sad and unhappy early life compulsive masturbation offered stress relief and self soothing and helped me to feel good. Fantasies created a inner world of loneliness. My inhibitions to express my emotions burdened me further. I understand that I'm an emotional illiterate. I've experienced a glimmer of freedom or happiness and it scares "ME". I don't trust that carrot before me. I've been fooled before and my wall becomes thicker. What is so troubling about this is I'm not sure of my True Self and when my subselves are operating. I can read about it but their operation is subtle and subconscious. They operate behind a veil of fear and guilt and shame. They trigger my conscience self to ride a thought wave of anger or anxiety. My heart races, I have imaginary conversations with adversaries. I catastrophize about so many things that I become paralyzed. This fear goes way back. My life long distorted thinking from my woundedness has influenced many choices in life. Many I regret. I'm not sure which "I" is regretting. Nevertheless, I'm am subject and enslaved to their acting out.

Hi Nander - I'm glad you joined us. Your story is familiar to many of us, tho the details differ, Midlife is often the best time to find your Self, from my experience. I suggest if you havent yet, start by making an inventory of your subselves. Then try to identify the most active (controlling) ones (Inner Kids and Guardians), and start patiently to build their trust in your true Self. see this for guidelines and options: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/IF/ifs.htm. If you have questions or comments along the way, start a new topic here - we're here to encourage you and help! - Compassionately, Pete

Thanks Pete! stumbled on to this cite last night, looks promising. hard to find cites like this, everything is either porn or juvenilia. Mind if I look around?

pilgrim27 wrote:Hi - I'm delighted you're finding the site useful. Please use these Forums to post comments, AHA's!, and questions - Pete

This is the best site i have found so far on self help, and believe me i have been looking, its a shame most of the people who need it are on MYSPACE or viewing porn, speaking of which, I don't think there is much hope of saving this degenerate culture short of revolution. cites like this just can't compete with mass media. while we work to save one family twenty thousand are going down the toilet

I was born in the back of a burned out roadside tavern to illiterate parents and raised in a shack with a dirt floor till my parents divorced at age one, After that I started having bad luck. After 63 years the only superlative i can claim is most failures in one lifetime. I once invented a dog-training device, spent thousands of dollars on Patent, web cite, etc. finally sold one for $7.50 but it cost me $9.00 to ship.
But eneugh about me, lets talk about you! what can I do to help you attract more people to this very vital and important cite. what you need my friend is a gimmick.. a game.... a CONTEST....A BIGGEST LOSER CONTEST!! Which of course I would be the winner.....or maybe not...
In any event, I rate "im ok your ok!" and "Natural Dog Training" among the best books floating around out there (this is the first i've heard of "Who's REALLY Running Your Life?) but intend to steal a copy at the first opportunity. Or you might send me a signed copy, and I might send you a check.
Seriously, I look forward to meeting any and all who are commited to building a better future for children than merely the by-products of adult sexual freedom. unfortunately, unless we organize and make some noise I don't see anything changing. do you?